Trivial

There aren’t any lights on in the house
every room is caved in black
A darkness that seeps into my skin.
And I’m focusing on the computer monitor glowing
bright light coming from the screen.
So I pretend that I don’t care and rub my unwashed hair
and give that thousand-yard stare.
Remembering prayers chanted throwing pennies in that well
Before I became trivial.

Finding out about my faults
my precious man took a bow and walked
Saying he couldn’t be a one-woman man.
I clenched and unclenched my fists
forcing those words away from my lips
“You can go to Hell!”
Now that I am trivial.

Don’t you realize that I fight
Every morning and every night
To keep this smile plastered to my mouth.
Wishing I was fooling everyone
Yet hoping he’ll see the sun
and come running at the sound of that bell
Shouting I’m not trivial.

I guess with time I will see
You’re not the hero I’d thought you’d be
all that pressure made you sick.
Blowing the hair away from my face
clears away the darkened trace of doubt in my mind.
The doubt that came the day I fell
The day I unveiled Trivial.